i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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