They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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