I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
