Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
