He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
