It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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