Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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