I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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