You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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