He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
