I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
