i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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