Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
