Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
