So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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