Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
