The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you would pick up someone in the library
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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