Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
