we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I will be naked everywhere
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
