is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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