remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
