There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
