hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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