Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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