After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
