so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
