Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I would ride that face into the sunset
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize