Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
