Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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