i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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