this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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