his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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