OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
