Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize