Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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