Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
