and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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