I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
