office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
