Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
