I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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