i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize