TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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