If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
