do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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