you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
