So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
