i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
