He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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