Apparently you make a good broom.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
