I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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