Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
