just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
