we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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