Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
