brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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