I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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