he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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