What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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