oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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