I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize