Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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