Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
