everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I want a musical about memes.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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