I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
