i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
