So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
