I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
People in love make me want to vomit
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
