He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize