I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
